Author: Thorsten Hofmann, C4 Institute, Quadriga University Berlin
Thorsten Hofmann leads the CfN (Center for Negotiation) at the Quadriga University Berlin’s Institute for Crisis, Change and Conflict Communication C4. He is an internationally certified Negotiation Trainer and advises corporations and organisations in complex negotiation processes.
Sound familiar? You’re in a negotiation, the other person is getting louder and louder, the arguments are colliding – and suddenly you realize that the situation is escalating. Emotions are boiling over, and logic has completely disappeared. The air crackles with tension, and you wonder how you actually ended up here.
Crucial negotiations can arise regularly: contracts need to be concluded, prices re-set and conditions adjusted. Whether you are talking about long-term contracts, discounts or delivery conditions – a well-thought-out agenda is the first tactical measure for negotiating success.
Do you also encounter viewpoints in negotiations that seem completely incomprehensible to you? A position or demand that makes you wonder, “How can anyone believe such a thing in the face of the actual facts?” Surely you can think of an example right away.
Many people perceive things as “true” in negotiations that are often not based on facts but on prejudices or assumptions, creating a “fallacious truth”. This leads to emotionalized decisions. Modern brain research explains why this is particularly dangerous in negotiations.
Negotiations can often become a psychological test of strength. Perhaps you are familiar with this as well. Unfair psychological tricks, the use of authority and personal pressure can cause stress and put you on the defensive. You lose control of the negotiation.
We love talking in negotiations: about us, what we want, why we want it and even more about how the other side’s desires are nonsense. However, on the other side of the table sits the source of information that I can use to improve my outcome. I just have to get the source to bubble.
We are all natural born questioners as children. We keep asking and asking and take nothing for granted. An ability that many of us have forgotten in adulthood.
To successfully achieve your negotiating goals, you need to prepare strategically for negotiations. An important tool for this is the structure of the negotiation table.
Negotiations can be a real challenge. Whether it’s negotiating in the business world, in politics, or when buying a car, they are often decided by emotions. This is where emotional intelligence (EI) comes into play.